I’ve been reading this book, The Other Boleyn Girl, by Philippa Gregory. It’s great, really interesting. I started reading it a few days ago and I’m already about a third of the way into it.
What I want to say though is how grateful I am for my “lot in life”, so to speak. Now, I know this is a novel, but it’s based in a lot of fact. These women, and men as well, in the story are simply pawns in their family’s struggle for power. This girl, Mary (which may be another reason why it’s hitting home so hard for me, although you’d be hard pressed to find one historical novel out there without at least ONE character named Mary in the story). Anyway though, Mary is married off at 12 (! what?!) to this young man who seems to be really sweet and everything, but then, at 14, when King Henry starts to take a liking to her, she’s taken away from the marriage and put in front of his face like a shinny fish hook, trying to get her pregnant so she can have his bastard son- I don’t really understand how that works exactly, but I guess it’s a good thing to have a kings baby, even if it’s illegit.
So now, she just had her baby (it was a girl- don’t let that ruin it for you, like I said, I’m only a third of the way in and it’s obvious it would have been a girl or Anne Boleyn wouldn’t have much to do with her own story) and her husband (William Carey) comes in to see the baby. He’s so so so rude to her, like she planned this whole thing and wanted to have a bastard baby with just anyone because she was whoring around the whole of England.
What a jerk!
Anyway, I haven’t been able to sleep because I’ve been thinking about DAT, planning in my sleep- it’s happening unusually early this time, so I’ve been reading. As soon as I read that I just looked over at Jesse who’s sleeping so sweetly and I just feel so blessed to be living in this time.
We met while doing a play, something we both love and are passionate about. Our relationship grew immensely through the creation of our theatre company, Dramatic Adventure Theatre. We’re choosing to get married and commit to a lifetime partnership, and our parents have nothing to do with it. In fact, they haven’t even met, and, because of where they both live, probably won’t meet until our wedding.
It’s such a lucky thing to live where we live in this time. There are some crazy, ridiculous things happening on the planet and in our country right now, but for the most part, we’re really lucky. We can commit to who we want, we can choose any career we can possibly dream of, we don’t have to live to a standard created by our family line financially or with our choice of career.
I feel pretty lucky. I hope that we can continue to move in this direction with the legalization of gay marriage. As I approach my own wedding, I’m thinking about my friends who still don’t have that freedom to marry the people they love. It’s so sad that they can’t commit to their partners in that way, and maybe won’t be able to protect them, in case the unthinkable would happen, in the same way as male/female partnerships.
Another thing that’s happening in this book- the Boleyn mother, I honestly don’t think they’ve ever said her first name, is terrible. She’s so sad, and destroyed, like a broken horse, and she takes it out on her daughters.
My mother is the strongest person I know in the world. She is amazing and has taught us (3 girls) as she’s learned some pretty tough life lessons. I’ve often been told I’m an old soul, and I know it’s because I’ve learned so much about life from my mother. She is part of an organization called, Evolutionary Women. It’s a collection of women making a choice to be awake for the conscious evolution that’s happening on our planet. I have to laugh at myself a little at the absurd idea of my mother NOT telling me that I’m wonderful. Of her NOT pushing me to achieve my dreams and supporting me every step of the way. That would be CRAZY and totally unlike anything I’ve experienced in my life.
I can’t speak for any other group of people who are oppressed, but as for women, I think the biggest thing that keeps women “down” is other women. In the book, I described this mother as like a broken horse- everything she’s doing and saying to her daughters is in an effort to create that in them as well. It’s like mothers who tell their growing daughters that they are fat, or that they need to get in shape. Why? As long as it’s not a medical problem, all kids grow differently. Some grow UP first, and some grow OUT. I imagine that would be the worst thing, to be told that.
Jesse and I were talking the other day about the reason women have body issues (or self esteem issues etc.) is because of other women. We compare ourselves. Sure, men have a hand in it, no doubt, but if you were a big women and you met a man who LOVED big women, other women who made comments about your body would still get you down.
Why is this? Why can’t we support each other? And just show love for other human beings?
So this will be my goal. To not judge, and certainly not criticize, others, as I thank the angels for the world that I live in, for the good things I have, and I will continue to ask for equality.
(Let’s hope whoever is elected will support that as well.)
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